After becoming a mother I have noticed something very disturbing.
I am a connoisseur of poop.
I have to know the color, texture, size, shape, and overall essence of the specific fecal matter at hand.
A typical conversation in our household:
Lucas-"I changed Carson's diaper".
Me-"Was it poopy?"
Lucas-"yes"
Me-"What color was it"
Lucas-"um. . . yellowish"
Me-"Was there a lot?"
Lucas-"sure"
Me-"Was it runny or like little deer turds?"
Lucas-"In-between I guess."
And so on and so forth.
Why am I so interested in my child's poop? Because I am a mother. Poop tells us everything. If we are sick, our poop tells us. If we are constipated, the lack of poop tells us. Too much poop can lead to dehydration. So even though it's disgusting, knowing everything about my child's bowl movements makes me an excellent mom. Hopefully some day my children will be able to read their own poop so I know longer have to, but until then I am stuck with this odd obsession.
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